(Source: inothernews, via kmcnolo)
Is there a pill that does the exact opposite of viagra? Cause I am knocking birds outta the sky with my triumphant meat
(via girdyourloinseveryone)
Last night I was at a YMCA event celebrating the success of its annual Strong Kids fundraising campaign. A video was shown where a man named Anthony explained how he got brain cancer, was paralyzed on the left side of his body, and was rehabilitated by trainers at his local Y. The climatic moment came when Anthony explained how he was so happy that he could hold his son again, because he’d been so afraid that his son would think that he didn’t love him anymore. During the video, Anthony’s son ran out of the audience and started clapping at the screen, Anthony followed close behind him.
“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes
fifty shades (thats it. thats the whole joke. im wearing 50 pairs of sunglasses right now this is comedy gold people)
“ya but how many chainz” i holler from the back of the crowd. suddenly its my show and your girlfriend is on my arm now. shes also a man and your gay
(Source: falcnpunch, via ernesthemingway)
Maps // Yeah Yeah Yeahs
they don’t love you like I love you.
(via girdyourloinseveryone)
